My head is pounding. Maybe it was the 5 Long Island Ice Teas last night at the club. Had a spontaneous 1st date with a guy, J, whos been calling me alot the past couple weeks from the on-line dating thing. He's 24 and into me. Why? As I feared, the club was full of young-ins (without rythym) so he and I shook it up and jammed like old-school pros. Felt good. Damm good. After the club closed at 4am we drove to the city and he wrapped his arm around me. It was so sweet and romantic in my intoxicated delirium. I haven't experienced such sweetness in an extraordinarily long time. It felt more like a highschool fantasy world than the hard bitter adult life I recently began resigning to. Damm, things are going good! We then went to the beach and made-out in the bushes under a blanket until it started getting light and I noticed people beginning to filter by us. Startled, I jumped up and was ready to go. Turns out that was a good call since 5 minutes later an Easter church service began right on the beach just beyond those same bushes! As we walked out of the park, people were streaming in! haha
What are the odds. He took me home and I crashed for a couple hours. I had an interesting dream about my brother. I wonder if that was because my date reminded me of him a little. When I woke up I felt happy (!!!!) and looked forward to spending the rest of the day before coming here to work. I repeat: I LOOKED FORWARD TO WAKING UP. (.....WHOA!......)

Grabbed an Espresso Frappuchino (yummm) dropped by the health food store for a salad and spent an hour online at their nifty computer by the sunlit window while grooving to their evokative, whimsical music. I smiled to myself for no reason. I reread my most recent email from my old highschool english teacher that I've been corresponding with and glowed. I love hearing from him, his writing, his poetry, our connection. It makes me feel so special and honored. I don't know why, but he says the same.

Then headed back to the beach, sat and watched with wonder the kite surfers launching into the air, twisting and flipping like human frisbees. I brought my big 35-80 mm camera (that Greg loaned/gave me) and pretended to be a photographer snapping a couple shots on the shore. I don't think they'll look too great since it was overcast , but just for the memories, it'll be fun.

Then J called. He wanted to see me before I went to work so he came by the beach! Wow! It was nice. Flattering but (weird?) to see him. I liked his company but he kept trying to kiss me which was, um, freaky! Weird! Embarrassing! Confusing! I don't know. He's so young. And we were in public. And I barely know him. And what will the neighbors think? Ugh. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings by fending him off, but ugh, I just couldn't do it. What would you have done?