Jan 29, 2006

10 good reasons to Eat Organic

I always say, kill em with kindness!  Go ahead!  Love it up!

Nothing is personal.  So don't take it that way!

Would you like to "decrease acts of human insensitivity?"  Paying it forward is the opposite of paying back.

Want better teeth?  Make love, not  war!  More reasons to just DO IT! (The nasty, that is.)


Did you know

there is no such thing as time?  There is only now.  The past and future are one.

Jan 25, 2006

I think I'm gonna move my blog

so I can speak more freely as I miss the therapeutic value of venting and emoting freely without concerning myself with real life reactions.  If I do, would you like to the address?  Please drop me a line indigoshmindigo@yahoo.com and I'll keep you posted.  I just feel like there's so much I ought to be saying....

Jan 24, 2006

Bored.

bored bored bored bored bored.

Jan 21, 2006

Electric Piano

I'd like to get one!

Jan 20, 2006

Today was my 5th day at the new job

So far so pretty good though its NERVE WRACKING. I'm inordinately jittery and must work hard to mask my neurotic sheepish inclinations and while my talkative, personable coworker is supremely supportive and seemingly like-minded we also share some less fortunate traits such as existing in a constant state of timid terror. Boy that was a log sentence. Actually, I've worked towards reducing my anxious responses over the years and have managed through cognitive restructuring to stay considerably calmer than I would have been before. The trick will be, I think, to stay conscious, and not allow myself to be triggered. I've been thinking about meditating too. Or studying qi qong again. In my extremely limited experience with qi qong I found it to be - AMAZING. Extraordinary. Almost otherworldly. Although the time wasn't right to continue, the exerience definately stuck with me as something worthy of revisiting. I feel a need for regrounding. Centering. Getting focused on being a good person and life affirming values. I would like inspiration to inspire. I want to be a better, more loving, giving person. Calm. Quiet. Still.

I also started an O. Dance class in the city! Once a week and a different style which my original teacher may find upsetting - but goodness - I've finally decided after many years, it's better than nothing at all which is what I've been doing. I think. I hope. My fear is (or my teacher's fear is) that it will "corrupt" the purity of her style - what she's taught me. I still haven't decided which is worse - my not telling her I'm taking the class and risking her losing face by stumbling upon it somehow through the national grapevine - or being appropiate and respectful and telling her and her being pissy and bitter about my questionable loyalty. Honestly, at this point, the latter would be pretty crazy since I haven't had regularly lessons for like, 6 years....

I don't know.. It's a bit of a dilemena for me. And actually I don't even know that I like this style anyway. I guess I'm just desparate. What I really need to do is get into shape. I could always rehearse on my own with a bit of motivation/drive/support/discipline. Where am I going to get that?

Do you have some you could spare?

Feel free to send it to me anytime:

indigoshmindigo@hotmail.com

PS: I miss this blogging thing.

Jan 10, 2006

A day off and

what will we be doing? 

Recycling the (I-kid-u-not) 6+ trash bags (as in - the  large black hefty bag type) of empty diet coke cans that have accumulated in our small studio apartment kitchen.  AS WELL as the extraneous grocery bags in the car/kitchen overflowing with cans.  At .05  cents a shot, the Cutie and I are wagering as to just how much moila we're gonna score off feeding them into the noisy/stinky Pathmark recycling machines.   He's going with 60 bucks.  So I'm gonna go with $60.01 Show-Case-Show-Down style.   Hey - this is serious buisness!  Winner takes all!  And after last months measly 28 hours of work & xmas purchases I'm hurtin!   Bad.

Anybody got some extra cans?

Donations accepted.

So, I started my new job last Thursday.  Did I tell you that yet?  I can't remember.  My office/receiving area is so crazy huge.  Vaulted ceilings, gigantous chandelier, couch, oak panneled cabinets, FIREPLACE, oriental rug, etc.   Its so... so......austere.....  Formal...... Intimidating!!    I kinda feel like I'm playing house or something.  Or should I say work.  Though I can't say I ever pictured myself working in someone's formal living room before.  I didn't interact much yet with The Pres. because he was highly busy, and stressed, and running back and forth.  The most he did was point out two wooden boxes on his desk: "In" and an overflowing "Out."   He pushed his hands under the foot high stack, handed the files/letters/documents to me and turned back to whatever he was typing on his laptop and I scurried back to my palace where I sorted it all into two of my own piles:  things I can figure out what to do with, and things that I don't have a clue what to do with.   Hopefully next time I go through this exercise, there actually BE something in the first pile.  

I wish Mary, the retiring woman who I'll be replacing in 6 months, could overlap with me now.   I mean, what's the point of my working 2 days a week now without a hint of direction or assistance?   At least my coworker (the Pres' 2nd assistant) is ultra wonderful.   I think we'll figure things out together since she's relatively new herself.

And as for the 2nd job from Hell in the medical office.  I let the Doc know about my second job to which she had no real reaction with the exception of asking, "is it just the hours or is it that you're unhappy with it here?"   And I said (very diplomatically), "BOTH."    I didn't know if I wanted her to pursue elaboration or not as at this point, I'm so enraged about her condescention and nasty insensitivies that I don't know how I could be honest without berating her.   I've dissapointed myself a little bit since therapy I've been really wanting to focus on speaking up, expressing anger and airing my truth.   Obviously, its a journey and won't happen over night.   Knowing when and how much seems to require alot of judgment calls.  There are so many variable to weigh in regards to the consequences.



Jan 8, 2006

I started the new job on Thursday.

How was it? It's hard to say quite yet.. Very unusual beginning....
I didn't do much other than snoop through filing cabinets
and stuff to orient myself. No one is there to train me/tell
me what I should be doing yet. The President simply pointed out the
out and in boxes on his desk then handed me a rather
large stack of papers/letters/correspondance/files. I guess I
was supposed to figure out what to do with it all. Haha.
Not gonna happen. I pretty much left a pile for Mary,
The woman who's position I'm taking who'll be back on
Monday.

The office setting is intimidating! But good I think?
My coworker if fabulous. Very down to earth and really
seems to appreciate me to no end. (I don't know why!)
Its nice to see people I recognize in the halls. The level
of friendliness of the school is UNREAL. The president
seems stressed but laughs alot which I like. I'll know more
soon.