Running

My goal is to run 4 miles a day for the rest of February.  2 days in the can! 

Outdoor Adventure?

I dream of of climbing, hiking, camping, canoeing, surfing, biking, running.   But my partner is unable to pursue them.  If I pursue them I will be leaving him at home?  That's crappy.  What do I do?

Erratic Stagnation

Neighbor: How are you?


A quick self-assessment. Well, let's see. Currently feeling....Desperate. Bitchy. Ashamed. Afraid. Hopeless. Pained. Hurt. Grief. Angry. Shamed. Isolated. Bored. Lonely. Helpless. Despairing. Glimmers of hope and optimism. Gratitude. Joy. Inspiration. Then fear. Worry. Anxiety. Fatigued. Sadness. Rage.   
Mainly, highly displeased that I stepped into this occupied elevator.  I take great effort to avoid contact.


Me: Fine.   


Feeling hazy. Vision impaired. Future uncertain. Being well-versed in the symptoms of depression, I immediately launched a contingency plan to not only stay afloat while unemployed, but to reap sweet revenge against my bully-oppressor via my sweet, sweet limitless success.  I refuse still to suggest defeat, yet, I am in battle.  Against purely myself.  I don't know why exactly.  I try to follow my thoughts to where they're taking me to - to redirect them.  I don't want to ruminate on the negative.  Or, do I?  Each day is an emotional minefield.  I ping-pong from place to place with electrifying irregularity and reckless disorder.