I have a date I have a date I have a date with a nifty sounding fella Friday night that i've never met before. I told him I'm fat and he still wants to go out! Shocking! I hate it when that doesn't sufficiently scare men off, but excited just the same. Now what am I gonna do. :: gulp ::

Group therapy was interesting tonight. I didn't cry once. I'm feeling more like myself of years ago. I had the energy to participate and even ask questions and care. Its annoying when group members sleep. Maybe I should have ASSERTED MYSelf and said so. But it feels so contrived when the facilitator fishes for a response from the others. Makes me wanna rebel and go the other direction instead. Anyway, besides that what did we talk about? One woman's self-injuring (cutting), a suicide, perfectionism, aligning with the masculine in our families of origin and denying the feminine - labeling it as weak and stupid... (ie: crying and emotion) Also the question was posed, "Who would I be without my eating disorder?" (In my case, without being fat.) hmmmmmmmmm Oh yes, also we discussed the role of INTUITION and soul, living who we TRULY are and meant to be, as opposed to over identifying with simply THOUGHT or EMOTION or the physical BODY. It has been hypothesized that illness results when there is disharmony between our lives and our soul's desires..... We are afflicted with a deep intuitive dissonance that manifests through physical and mental disorders.