Nov 29, 2021

Happy Birthday me

Age 48, I write from this folded table and metal chair in this basement tiled room overlooking the Ashram forest.  Below the patch of grass outside my window there is a tall regal apple tree and down the hill a beautiful lake reflecting the orange and brown foliage lining the perimeter.  A few individual snowflakes today.  I can't wait for the full snow treatment here - I'm sure it will be as equally magical. 

It's been almost one month now since I came.  I was previously in upstate NY car camping, forest camping, exploring, adventuring, enjoying, suffering, struggling, loving, being.  Evolving? 

Since covid started I have been in sadhana.  Primarily alone for the first year.  Off and on with Aman, which has been challenging, beautiful and volatile.   Meditating, dancing, yoga, videoing leaves and trees in the woods to classical indian music.   





  

 

Takeaways of session with Michael Beckwith 0

 "Intention deficit disorder" - quips will come into play and expand and flow within you over time  -Mary age 70


Lisa Rock
Hold the breath as long as possible to stabilize the feeling you want to hold on to.  The peaks and valleys in yourself. Permission with yourself to be in the moment. let go of guilt shame.   Tools to stabilize life.  Life visioning quest with Michael Beckweths.   Are you called to it?  Academy. Workbooks. Life changing.  Practice skills of program that you know works and reintegrate.  Magic. Examples: Always shows up when practicing Doesn't go away until I stop.  Theres a vibrational frequency here that I manage. I've been embraced by community in Las Vegas. Local radio embraced me recently 91.5.  Happens on job. Happens in personal life. Had to take authority and release relationships that held me down and help me back.  Getting permission to go forward is hard to give yourself. This gives you permission to get out of where you've been and into where you want to be.   Heal FIRST.  and THENNNNNN you can pursue your vision. Heal. Then chase the vision.  (LOVE THIS) 

Marta Tomic
thank you for this call. my ego was in victim space. i connected the wrong dots. i thought I was higher than I was. I'm confused. i don't know. thank you for your support. ((thank you for sharingand courage to be vulnerable. ))


Valerie 
www.valerieKattenfeld.com
as a facilitator - the body is important to me. happy not purely mind but also body. physical. meditation.  this community caught my attention. ppl welcoming from different countries. ppl sharing vulnerable moments of their life.   ((we learn by being open))  we accomonday each other during this vulnerable process. i appreciate this and celebrate this with you today.   ((go through quests together - like visioning)) 

Pio Granada - Phillipines
gaps. called to be a . takeaway - getting out of victim consciousness - feeling empowered to fix it. financial. etc.  something I have to get up and fix. progressing. ((thank you for sharing its and amabing thing to share and be vulnerable and congratutionls on) 

Alecia Lucci - upstate NY
overlapping themes.  "after grow"  after many relationships.  read something that made me feel like I was being rejected. cried. tried to stop myself from feeling. but instead. changed mind.   

filled out form to see if we were a good match/good fit for elnightment coaching . i got upset. i judged myself for feeling that pain. lets just feel it and see what happens. i let myself cry. i let all my feelings speak to me. i felt rejected because I felt unworthy not good enough didn't deserve the free session. i was able to list them. see them. feel them. where did they come from. why are they in my mind and soul .  growing up I feel I was in many situation where I tried to express myself authentically and ppl didn't respond or get negative pushback and take personally instead of seeing it as not personal.  its not that ti wasn't worthy of help.  i let the feeling flow and experienced what I needed to feel. it took me about an hour to feel better. i felt lighter freeer. i don't feel I need to carry any of that today.  this woman knew that it wouldn't serve me to have that session - it would serve someone else to have that free session
((bianca: the moment I started to share things was the moment things started to change)) 

Eleni Dimaki - Greece 
The questions, not the answers.  To find my purpose, my vision. When I started I took quest late in evening, sleeping. Gave me strength, belief, hope. There are answers! There are answers to my questions!  Started listening before bed and when I wake. After doing visions I would get 20 more after doing things. Because the important part of this quest is DOING things. Every lesson was something I feel was giving me more strength. More answers. So even today's session - now I have grown, taken the quest. Its the 4th week I'm doing now. I do every day. Every day there is magic. Every lesson gives you SOMETHING Gives you inspiration. Gives you a way of transforming.  For me, I have called in many patterns that were not helping my health for transformation. Every exercise that I have to do I try to do as much as I can because the time for some people it takes time to do all this thinking if you have ... its practice. its not the quest. its not the 10 or 15 minutes spending listening. It is to do, actually.  Take the time. What I would suggest for myself is how I could stick to what I was learning every day. Every day by doing the quest you let something new. You get inspired for many things, at least for me. So for today when I saw the kickoff call I thought, oh, kick off, you're almost ending, why would you listen. I wanted to listen in natural way. Every word he says he has such deep meaning he gives the explanation to the CORE. Each word. Every sentence. He will give something more. So the inspiration from today, when I fall back in my growth, he gave me the simplicity to realize that this is the path of my ego because by doing the request I actually do the quest but I haven't made this connection that this could be the path of my ego so this is one of my insights today. Its natural . This is something that is natural. It happens to all of the people /structures /felling victim level. Feeling somehow they have not mastered the second stage and also I would suggest EVERYONE to see as many as many times as they can the movie, the Secret. Beause this movie gives you a whole vision for our lives we can future = there is hope.  

Bianca D. martial arts and mediation s was turning point to sharing