1. I STRONGLY expressed my displeasure and discomfort to my landlord when he barged into my apartment without my letting him in last Saturday morning. He apologized and we continued chatting for I'd say a good 20 minutes or so. I was still in my sleeping clothes and couldn't see him because I hadn't put my contacts in yet. It was embarrassing and awkward but it also made me MAD and I think I let him know!!! I noticed it looked like he'd come in last week too because the rice cooker under my sink had been moved to the kitchen floor and wheely plastic bin thingy was near my bed. What the hell! He didn't leave a note or give me a heads up or anything. (They were repairing the pipes next door and needed access apparently.) Anyway, I said I didn't like it finally, and he heard. He is one of the nicest men I know, so its would be hard to get TOO mad, and in way, he kindness was what presented an excellent, safe opportunity to try-on this new hat, "Saying What I Feel."
2. Greg called me and asked if I was coming to his Birthday Party last Thursday. I told him I was surprised he was inviting me since the last couple times I saw him didn't go well. Despite his supposed CONFUSION I elaborated and in no-uncertain terms told him I hadn't enjoyed being around him much lately, felt mistreated, put-down and generally disrespected. He tried dilligently to argue the point, tell me how I was wrong, and basically said I was making it all up. When you think about it, that's kinda funny! (....."You're WRONG!! YOU DON'T FEEL PUT-DOWN AND DISRESPECTED!! BITCH! ) HA ha ha... Writing this reminds me that I'm not crazy. In fact I think I was really quite awesome. I countered him with a vengeance but did well by not getting sucked into his bazarro anti-logic or taunts into saracasm or pettiness. (I swear, I really can be non-sarcastic in real, non-blog life.) I stayed clean!!!! I don't mind seeing him again, but its remarkable to hold a clear sense of what's acceptable, what's not, and that I can simply chose to extract myself from a conversation or situation that's not. At ANY POINT COMPELLED. HA! ..... ha.HA!....... YEAH!.....That feels soooo greeeeeeeEEAATT!!! YES! Mainly, regardless of the outcome, I SAID, (outloud), simply, "It doesn't feel good to be treated that way. I don't like it!"
More clearly put, (as I cut him off during a rant and difinitively stated),
"You can take it leave it. (I don't give a shit) because it doesn't change MY truth. I'm expressing to you how I feel! PERIOD"
:::gloating smirk::: Yesssssss.
That's TWO for Recovery
(and 1,242,998,231.02 for the melancholic abyss)
But H E Y, WE'RE MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!!!!!! H A !!!!!
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