Good. No one's visiting me. Still free to be an idiot without fear of being recongnized. (Of course anyone who knows me would NEVER believe I was an idiot.) My feet are all dry and peeling and have this super thick sick, I mean thick skin on the side by my big toe. What causes that? Gross. Why didn't it ever happen before? Is it because I'm getting so old and starting to deteriorate? Maybe its because I haven't drank any water for like, months. I hear that's super bad for you for lots of reasons, but, its so hard to remember. What a chore. Then you have to pee constantly which really can be inconvenient. In fact, the whole self maintenance thing seems way too consuming. I cut off my fake nails with a regular scissors Saturday after getting fed up when trying to type at the office. Now they are jagged stubs that could easily be considered claw-like weapons. In the middle of the night, I picked at my pointer finger nail thinking I could just pry off the leftovers but it didn't work out so well and I inadvertently ripped off not only the fake stuff, buy my real nail too half way up the nail bed. Smart.

I think I still have that nasty ear fungus too. It's been over 6 months since my ear hasn't oozed that slimy liquid stuff. Yeah, I really am as sexy as I sound.

Tomorrow I have to teach again for a couple days. I'm not looking forward to it. At all. It fucking stresses me out. And half the time the "kids" are such little shits. But I smile and laugh and divert attention from the misbehaviors and try to move the class along. Inside I burn. 2 more days though and I'm done. Done for good. Done Done Done. Fuck that. There's got to be a better way. Not that there weren't the good moments. But so few and far between. I hated having to beg and tapdance and turn cartwheels to keep them focused. WHEN I WAS A KID, I never needed so much prodding just for the basics; wanting to learn, to do good, improve myself. Its just depressing sometimes. But then again, I guess its not hard to depress the depressed.

I have still been doing remarkably good lately though. My moods stellar. Although I slept all day again today. I woke up accidently 10 minute before work at 7pm. Who would have guessed i would slept that late! GEEZ. My sleep patterns are bizarre. I stayed at the office until 2am Friday night (willingly.) And then came back the next morning [AFTER BEING WOKEN UP BY MY LANDLORD BARGING INTO MY APARTMENT WHILE I WAS SHOWERING IN THE BATHROOM!!!!] to keep working until 9pm (voluntarily again) I think I like being there. It feels good to be near a family. I like who everyone keeps stopping be and saying HI or just shoot the shit. I like how they invite me to have dinners with them, or how the little kids stop by and give me flowers. It must be nice to have a family. People to live with. People to love. People who know if you're alive. I miss that. I'd like that.

I watched the Director Commentary for "The Score," a movie with Robert Deniro/Marlon Brandon/Eward Norton/Angla Basset, several times lately. I liked it. Good tips on camera moves and lighting. I wonder if I'll really pursue filmmaking some day. What would that be like. Would I like it? I'll keep sitting on it for a while until something more percolates or perhaps I die. Whichever occurs first. Meanwhile, I'll watch the DVD's. My Film School.

Did I mention, "One Week"? I enjoyed that too. A way low-budget first time director/writer's creation. It gave me inspiration and hope to create too. The commentary was especially geared towards little people. Very kewl. I hope they keep on keepin' on... Sound like good guys.