I think this would be a time when I would eat without being hungry. I wonder what that pull is. Is there an underlying emotion? Tension?
Part of me is now feeling resentful about being here maybe. Unappreciated. Restricted. Unable to fully provide an awesome job because i need to now restrict my hours, per the owner. What can i possibly accomplish in 12 hours a week? It's so frustrating. 40 hours would barely touch this place its so far behind. 6 years of no upkeep has taken a disasaterous toll. I understand that he's concerned about money and is a frugal man. But, why can't he see the long-term value and make the investment? Damm its frustrating. Having to hold back. Maybe it kicks in my black & white thinking; if i can't do it perfect, than why bother. Adjusting is difficult.
- posted by Indigo Blue @ 9:00 PM

I just can't get going today at the office. My mind feels stop and go. Jolted. Fragmented. Can't get going. Like continually pulling the string of a lawnmower.
- posted by Indigo Blue @ 8:57 PM