I have more to say but am getting too sleepy. (It's nearly 3am now) As I close my eyes, images from "Memento" are with me. Maybe I was too dismissive of it in my last post. No short term memory is interesting. It evokes lots of questions about life. Is life meaningful without the ability to form memories? What would motivate you to continue on? Or maybe, you're just too lost to know any better not too. I am glad for this movie in that it seems to continue where Drew Barrymore/Adam Sandler's "50 First Dates" supposed "comedy" left off. I found THAT movie disturbing actually. I don't know, something about having to be reintroduced to your children on a daily basis somehow just doesn't seem cute and fun.

And yet. Sometimes life seems like that anyway. All disjointed and broken up into little fragments of time. But the fragments parallel each other because instinct leads you repeatedly to the same behaviors; their fuctionality or appropriateness irrelavent. And then we attempt, for our comfort, to superimpose some sort of meaning on the whole affair, when really, it is all a sham, and that meaning we constructed is simply a roadmap that we send to ourselves of the future so that we can continue with the illusion that there is some sort of purpose, some sort of master plan; something to be done or accomplished. (IE: Religion) For without that, what is our drive to continue on? Memory could be considered a fallibility, I guess, when you think of it like that. Better to be self-trapped in your own repetitive game? Blissfully "unaware"?

Tonight when I left my apartment, there was some asshole peeing nearly on the front door of my neighbor. You'd think he'd be embarrassed, but he followed behind me to his car next to mine, looked me straight in the eyes and smiled. Vile.