ARG! I can't move too well because my abdomen is all cramped up. I think its the Starbucks Frapachino kicking in. I'm typing sideways (only half doubled over) in the Group Home office while my trusty coworker Rick is scolding the girls down the hall - telling them to be quiet and go to bed. This is always the best part of the night here. Bedtime. Pressure's off, time to blare up the TV, kick-back and cruise till the end of the shift. Oops. 10,000 negative points for Jodie, I just overheard. I'd go give him a hand if only I could stand up. OW! ...Ok cool. He just walked by to grab her pointcard & I got to check-in with him & see if he's ok. It's all good. Its nice working with him since I don't have to stress or mind-read. What a nice change - supporting each other. It's the shits when you work on-line with someone who'll only communicate passive aggressively through other staff members & not to you directly; someone who'll smile in your face while you find out is talking shit to anyone else who'll listen. (Generally, these are the women Counselors, I noticed.) You know, for a group of "counselors," supposedly "modeling" appropriate and healthy behaviors, we're one fucked-up group of individuals! Through the years here there have been times when I questioned who needed help more, us or the clients! Luckily though, the turnover rate at Group Homes tends to be so incredible that its only a matter of time before those problem staff cycle out and in-comes a new round of staff. Just like the clients. In and out. In and out. In and out. Can't get to attached. Can't get too worked-up.

The girls were good tonight. We have two new clients that I got to know a little bit tonight. I really feel I have good rapport with all the clients actually which makes life tons easier here. It's the new power-tripping staff that really have it tough. Sometimes it takes a while to get a pretty basic concept; be straight-up and respectful, and they'll be respectful back. No one's any different, adult, child or teenager. Especially teenagers because they're already struggling so much with their evolving identities and becoming their own self, separate from other's expectations and rules. In a way, that's their job as teenagers. Inevitably this concept butts heads with a highly structured, rule-based home with 12 young counselor "parents." Afterall, what do most fresh 20 year olds know about child rearing, let alone unruly, angry, abused teenagers? Its to be expected. I only wish we had a stronger leadership, and I mean from the very top down. I think the lower levels of an institution are direct reflections of the CEO's or Directors. Trickle down affect. If they don't give a shit at the top, than why would the little people at the bottom give a shit? If its only a game of numbers and dollar signs, thats reflected in the attitude throughout.

I have so many unanswered questions about the concept of the"Social Services," ~ this "business" of "helping people." Is that truly the priority, "helping?" How is that defined, I wonder? How is it qualified? (NOT quantified.) It seems there are lots of pitfalls to be aware of and avoided to preserve the integrity of an organization. Afterall bureaucracy at a Bank has an entirely different impact than the gravity of the effects of Social Service bureaucracy where people's lives are at stake, powerless pawns in the hands of wage slaves.

Boy was this a yawner of an entry. blah blah blah blah blah blah BLAH
- posted by Indigo Blue @ 3:23 AM Sunday, April 25, 2004