I berated myself horribly.  I don't care how beautiful people said it was, i knew the truth.  It was horrible.  Horrific.  Horrendous. Horsepuckey. 
Humliating.
But they "loved it" just the same, so what does it matter?  Maybe it shouldn't but it does.  I was afraid to go "home" for fear of facing the Guru.  The shame. 
Boy was i in for a surprise.
She grinned and congratulated me.  She said the Mr. called from his trip and said to make sure i knew he was proud of me.  Apparently she's arranged another performance for this Friday, and she's not worried.  It's experience.  And i have to get back in the swing of things.  Afterall it's been six years.   She said in 2 years she thinks i could become world class (if i work hard.)  That's quite a vote of confidance which i doubt i'm worthy of.  But despite my skepticism i am touched.   She/he/this means alot to me.  It's an honor being here.
 
 
3 comments:
Congratulations! :)
GOOOOOO INDIGO! :)
Congratulations on making it through!
hehe... thanks guys..
sunshine, i really don't think i'm being modest.. but i do agree i need to try to let up on myself a bit... i just have a really hard time breaking that cyclical abusive self talk once it flairs up, ya know?
omega, yes by the skin of my teeth!! haha
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