Transition

Oh my. Time to go back to work, i suppose. What am i going to do? Where am i going to start? I don't know my way around here since we've gone virtually nowhere. I'm at a loss. I don't even know what field to pursue anymore. It will be so strange to leave the comfort and security of this studio and his company. Perhaps the longer i stay in, the more intimidated and anxious i feel. How will it change the dynamics of our relationship? Will he be lonely without me here, or will he feel relief to again have alone time? Both? Will he resent me? Will he be proud of me? Will he wish he could work too?

A few days ago we had a 6 month anniversary of the date we met and moved in together, so he told me. Is that possible? Its been six months of being together. Talking, sleeping, playing on-line games, watching tv and eating. He met my parents and entire extended family the second month at a terrifying family event. I met his too and spent Thanskgiving at his Grandmothers. He's hinted to his best friends that we might get married and introduced me to strangers as his fiancee.

How did this all happen? How did i get to this strange state, so many thousands of miles away from my former home? What will our future be? Will it be a collective one? Its so hard to know and even harder to believe in. Love is scary. There is so much potential for hurt. Then again, so much capacity for joy. Despite the various moments of strain and tension and uncertainty since embarking upon this journey, these have been perhaps the most lovely and fullfilled months of my life. I really can see us being togther. I think this might work out!