The answer to my cookie woes? Cookie Monster says, Eat coooookies!!!
(**Here's some random thoughts as
I intend to strive to become an Intuitive Eat-OR by:
1. Rejecting a Diet Mentality (not counting calories, restricting "bad" foods, etc)
2. Listening to my Body
3. Discovering my Internal Cues
4. Eating with Awareness and Without Judgement
5. Honoring my Hunger - Eating When Physically Hungry
6. Assess my hunger level Hunger Silence – Why Don't I feel Hunger?
7. Cope with my Emotions Without Food - Not using Food to Bury my Feelings
8. Assessing reasons why i may eat other than for physical hunger
Dieting does Damage It Increases:
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Intuitive eating is a completely unconscious process that automatically adjusts calorie and nutrition intake to produce my ideal weight. I plan to eat what i want, when i want it - i won't berate my selves or allow others to shame me. When i eat without awareness, i get the calories, but not the get pleasure, so left still unsatisfied. This provokes overeating, which leads to guilt, which leads to more overeating. But
I deserve to enjoy eating!
I am allowed to savor every bite!
When i eat, i'll allow myself pleasure. I'll:
Smell it
Suck it
Move it around my mouth.
Notice the different flavors and textures.
Chew it.
Swallow
Notice the aftertaste
Process the experience
Did everything taste as i expected?
Did i like the smell, taste or texture of some foods better than others?
Remember that each bite is a total experience.
I'll give my body adequate energy by staying fed and prevent triggering a primal drive to overeat. Excess hunger messes up all my intentions of moderate, conscious eating and then i wanna stuff my face with coooooookiesssssss and icecream and D's infamous Party Mix.
If i was to eat only when i was physically hungry nothing will be stored. One of the main tools we used at the E.D. group, was the Food Journal. I've been contemplating keeping one again for a while journal again as a refresher to remind myself of my hunger levels and their relationship to my feelings. Basicially what we did was write the following next to everything we ate in a day: what we were doing, thinking, feeling, and a number before and after eating from the following Hunger Scale.
The Hunger Scale (0 - 10)
0 – So hungry that you're not hungry
1 – Headache, shaky – too hungry to care what or how much you eat – you will overeat. 2 – Losing concentration, grumpy – seriously hungry – your stomach is empty, you must eat now!
3 - I'm hungry, stomach growling
4 – Not hungry, but not satisfied
5 – Satisfied, comfortable, not hungry
6 – In slight discomfort – you feel the food
7 – Uncomfortable – sleepy sluggish, change into sweats
8 – "I ate too much – I'm stuffed" Very uncomfortable – stomach hurts
9 – Overly stuffed
10– In pain. Thanksgiving Dinner like – need to take a nap
It was initally an uncomfortable thing as it forced a sort of consciousness that completely contradicted the whole purpose of an eating disorder: numbing out and unconsciousness. The idea is to bring these things to light until finally, you stop when you're full.
I hate eating like you're never going to eat again. It's like your body has betrayed you. But actually the body has no interest ever in overeating. The mind overeats when it's afraid of future deprivation. That's why i need to perservere in eating small, frequent meals. But because this makes me hungry more often, it can be SCARY since it makes u want to eat more often. But these small, frequent meals prevent bingeing, boost metabolism and keeps blood sugars up to prevent mood swings. It takes more time and effort and persistance but i know its what i need to do. I need to
Eat slowly.
Listen to my body's signals.
Pause in the middle of eating and note the tastes and my level fullness is
I need to quit eating right in the middle if i'm full!!
I can always eat again whenever i'm hungry afterall.
Keeping the cupboards/fridge stalked will reinforce this
Also, if a practice throwing food out, it will help me practice letting go
Research shows that over time bodies choose totally balanced diets. "Forbidden" foods like cookies are scary, but i need to remind myself that just because i indulge once in a while doesn't mean my world is going to come crashing to an end. Its the fear that drives the freaking out which in turn could lead to a crazy binge. But i don't need to freak out because i'm not going to gain an ounce from eating what i want if i only remember to eat on between physical hunger and fullness. That's exactly the amount of calories my body needs to arrive at maintain myideal weight.
A big chunk of soothing ice cream will always be here for me when no one else is. An emotional eater (like me) learns early on that food is a great way to cope. Uncomfortable feelings-anger and fear or joy and success – can be buried under food.
"Has eating become a substitute for living my dreams?"
I something i asked myself recently and had to answer, "yes." Now i can happily say that thats not true. But its scary and sad how easily it can happen and how many other people resign themselves to this life. Empty and sad.
Now the minute I want to eat when i'm not hungry, i see it as a gift, a flag that something may be awry, an indication that there may be a deeper need or feeling that needs to be heard and fed. Its not easy doing this work, but now when the
When the urge to eat arises, i try to ask:
"Am I physically hungry?"
and if i'm not then
"What am I feeling?"
Boredom? Procrastination? Anxiety? Grief? Frustration? Stress? Rage? depression? Anger? Habit? Bribery/Reward? Soothing? Love? Social pressure?
It helps to write out my feelings here, or talking it out (d is remarkably understanding)
also
Sitting with feelings and really experiencing them (i H A T E this!!!!)
i ask "What do I really need?" Sleep/rest? a hug? to connect? to express anger?
i try to ask for help in attaining this; what i really need.
Learning to meet needs without food is a whole new reality. It is a bitch. But damn its rewarding. Instead of food i find i need to
Nurture myself
Deal with my feelings
Accept that i have them
And find non-food distracters (W.o.W., D, etc)
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