Just So We're All Clear

I don't think so honey.

I fact, I don't think you're here at all.

I am.

Not you.

Me.

If you were **always here***hugs**smiles**, then i would see you because i am sitting three feet away from him, currently doing **our** laundry.

I massage his aching injured back each night.

Not you.

I cook him tasty nutritious meals each night: save the cinnamon, eggplant and double the spicy.

Not you.

I massage his feet to increase the circulation in his uncomfortably numb toes.

Not you.

I walk to Pathmark 4 times a week in all weather and strain under the weight of his groceries and two cases of diet coke.

Not you.

I pick up his medicines from the pharmacy and mail his letters at the post office each week.

Not you.

I buy him therapeutic gifts to ease his relentless pain. I bring him him sugarless candies to boost his spirits. I learned to play his computer games to keep him company. I encourage him when he is down. I hold him when his is in pain. I hug him when he is sad.

Not you.

I do this because I would do anything to make his life better - to afford him any trace of greater comfort or happiness or peace.

Not you.

I touch him. Laugh with him. Argue with him. Make up. I endure the sourness and regail the joys. I hold him naked in the night and smooth his hair. I dream with him and discuss **our** future **together**.

Not you.

And while yes, its true you two did fuck that one lonely week in times past- and fondly you will "never forget", I, on the other hand, am not an empty distant bootycall.

I am here.  Now.

Not you.

And when he looks at me, he makes love.

And each time we make love, the connection deepens - the tenderness - the desire - the intimacy - the trust.

The love.

And incidentally, just so you know, I don't plan on going anywhere.