1 step back, 10 steps forward

What did Fredick Douglas say about "No struggle, no progress"? Well, inevitably every journey worth taking will have setbacks and difficulties. And that's okay. I'm okay. I won't worry. I won't get upset. I certainly won't give up. Instead, i'll pick myself up, wipe of my knees and march on. I've come a long ways, and have faith that i can continue. I will continue. Addictions are hard to break. They exist for an important reason; survival. And changing patterns of any sort requires major mental and emotional re-wiring which doesn't happen over night. In the Eating Disorder group, a relapse was more aptly referred to as a "Learning Day;" a day that may not be exactly what we want, but valuable nonetheless. To be examined, processed and most importantly forgiven.

The bottom line is; change does happen. And is happening for me. The following signs of "relapse" are simply that. A flicker that quickly subsides, making way for Recovery and Health.

Increase in obsessive thinking about food and weight

Wanting to be in control all the time

Perfectionistic attitudes

Wanting to escape from stressful situations

Feeling hopeless about work, relationships or life

Believing you will be happy and successful if thin

Feeling of being "too fat", even though people say otherwise

Wanting to isolate

Unable to use your support systems

Being dishonest with those helping you about your symptoms

Looking in the mirror often

Daily weighing

Avoiding certain foods because of the calorie content

Purchasing mostly diet foods

Skipping meals

Excessive exercising

Wearing only loose fitting clothes

Thoughts of suicide

Feeling disgusted with oneself after eating