Or so it seems.
And what if you do nothing? Are you nothing?
Dispensable?
Valueless?
Unworthy?
What if you produce nothing? -Have nothing to show for yourself: no fruits of your labor - nothing to authenticate your efforts as a human being? What if you reject the worker bee mentality? What if you prefer to contemplate the universe? What if you have a day off?
Does the emptiness of the open space send you into a frenzied tailspin of self-flagellation and grief?
If not, then how do you you determine your esteem?
3 comments:
I gave up trying to draw value from my job, friends, contributions to my neighborhood, and to some extent, family. What I've been trying to do for the past year is make myself take a step back from all my initial emotional responses and then ask myself, "Does this REALLY matter to me, or affect me in any meaningful way?" As I've let go of material and emotional fetters, I find more able to deal with new stresses. For me, the main problem was anger; for you, it seems regret (just a guess). This kind of purposeful turning down of psychic volume may seem selfish or sociopathic at first, but it's more about letting things move through you than trying to deny reality. If someone insults me, it doesn't faze me too much, as there are only a couple of opinions that matter to me, and being able to recognize that some schmuck is trying to get a rise out of me allows me to slide off his comments. From a long-range perspective, this also helps when looking at motives of others.
As far as esteem, I'm not sure how to explain in words me philosophy, but the core of it is the elimination of ego. Not only does it help alleviate the situations I mentioned in the last paragraph, but it also allows you to face your own limitations calmly. I know that I'm not going to change to course of history or be an international superstar; likewise, the actions of my life will be insignificant to the greater events forged by the sum of our work. Knowing that allows me the freedom to act how I choose, without much regret. When your actions result in nothing, it doesn't matter what your reactions are. In some hands, this might mean becoming a bank robber or con man-for me, it means the ability to be honest with people because, really, what have I got to lose?
Just the opinion of a feverish hillbilly...
BTw, like the template :)
wow...thank you SO much for your wonderful, thought provoking and interesting comment!
its great to hear your thoughts...
aloha,
indigo
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