Plastic Curls

D doesn't read my blog anymore. I don't know if that makes me happy or sad. I guess if he did, it would show me he was interested in my thoughts and writing, but then, if he doesn't, i feel less self-conscious. I wonder why he doesn't mention it. He also doesn't write in the awesome Blog of Love that he created special for us many months ago before i moved to New York to be with him; dedicated to the wonder that was our unfolding relationship. And of course, he stopped his own blog. Now I don't have the benefit of hearing those deeply moving and poetic thoughts. His blog was a rare and valuable window into his inner world that i miss terribly.

Its 839am and he fell asleep ("early") about an hour ago while i continued searching the web for tips as to how to create stiff/flat/fakey spiral ribbon curls as witnessed last night on the HB O ::cough, cough:: "Documentary" on P o r n. He said he liked them and they would look good on me if i died my hair blond. This launched me headfirst into a pathetic quest to fulfill his quasi suggestion (since he rarely makes them) and i'm of course desparate for his approval. (Despite that i already have it......... I think.........) I want to be sexier, prettier, lovelier, more clever and charming, magnetic, erotic overall love Goddess. (For him) I want him to see me as the perfect woman and satiate any/all desires that he has, might have, consider having, know that he might possibly have in this or some other lifetime on any given planet, solar system, or perhaps galaxy. Yes, i know this is blatantly co-dependant. Yes, i'm aware that my desparate need to appear attractive is unattractive.
Yada yada yada. Anyway!
I knew immediately what i had to do and braved the bitter cold (i don't own a coat yet) and walked to the neighborhood store loading up on hopeful tools of approval; pins, hairspray, gel, combs.... For some odd reason i deducted through on-line research that "pin curls" would produce the desired spiraled effect. It didn't take long to realize how horribly misguided of an inspiration that was as i unpried tangled hair blobs from my greased up fingers. Not one to be easily deterred, I quickly moved on to bigger and better brilliant ideas as i went on to wrap soggy tendrils dripping with gel, hairspray, and other misc hair goop around and assortment of would-be curlers; rags, bottles, toilet rolls,- anything i could reach-but alas, to no avail!

Now, the situation is becoming increasingly dire as I am actually contemplating walking to the drugstore and resorting to the purchase of an actual curling iron; thus bringing the number of hair appliances in my possesion up to, count em, THREE, yes THREE electric hair devices. (Following recent acquisitions; Hot Iron to accentuate the $400 relaxer D sprung for, and Hair Dryer; inspired one chilly morning by a wet-hair-experience when stinging New York frost lingered like poison arrows in my moist, unsuspecting scalp while D and i waited for our bus; thus clearing up that whole "why-someone-would-own- a-hair-dryer-anyway" mystery for me. (It hadn't really dawned on me me in the tropics of Hawaii.)

Now I'm been debating- do i sneak out now and get it, return home, and get to work?....But then what? Curl and glue, curl and glue, curl and glue into exhaustion only to fall-out fast asleep beside poor D who'd later wake to a vaguely familiar tossled head of post p o r n hair foof? Horror! Oh well, that hideously grating metallic front door would surely wake not only D up anyway, but the rest of the city along with him.
Besides, remind me once again anyways, whyyyyy am i trying to look like a p o r n star againnn?!

::glowering::

Humph!