Took D to the hospital today (11p last night to 7am this morning). It was tiring but more notably - minimally helpful; producing no more than an alternate non-nauseating prescription for pain. (Nausea creates an inability to eat and retain nutrition - thus throwing his sugar levels off - thus creating a medical emergency.) I guess being diabetic, hospital trips are simply everyday life to him, barely evoking an eye bat, but I, of course, teared up in the privacy of the dark cab ride there, being careful to covertly brush the wetness away while he wasn't looking. I can't stand it - seeing him in so much discomfort. Why can't i suck the pain out of him and insert it into me instead? I could say it a million times , ITS NOT FAIR!! ITS NOT FAIR!! ITS NOT FAIR!! ITS NOT FAIR!!! and still not express it adequately. (To the billioneth power, perhaps?) Will i come to terms with his misfortunate ever? I doubt it.
The hours crept slowly by as i listened to the strange E.R. sounds surrounding the mauve pully curtain encircling us; beeps and blips, moans and sniffling babies; he in his makeshift wheely bed and i in my erect rubber chair. It was a relief to see him finallly rest his weary, worn eyes.
No comments:
Post a Comment