Mortality

Found out last week that my Dad was diagnosed with leukemia. I think i'm in some sort of denial or something as i keep "forgetting" about it. I guess its not registering. When they visited NY for a couple days last month, i was alarmed by my parents aging faces; sagging skin, tired eyes; my Mom had even recently gotten a hearing aid! Then when i thought about it, i haven't really seen them much for the past 10 years - 1/3 of my lifetime, and i guess time marches on regardless of my absenteeism. Their faces confirmed it; my need to begin developing a new, adult relationship with my them, or should i say, any relationship at all. Its time to repair and mend, forgive and heal.

This will be the first Xmas i've spent with them since highschool (over 10 years) and D is coming no less! That's significant considering how insular (in my interpretation) my parents (used?) to be in the past. Even relatives were viewed with a certain measure of distaste and were not welcomed. D and i have discussed staying for up to 2 weeks. I expect it to be uncomfortable and difficult at times, but also meaningful and special. Unfortunately, D's poor health would make it particularly hard on him, so we'll most likely stay a week (?)..... We'll see.