GOD.... I'M SUCH AN IDIOT I'M SUCH AN IDIOT I'M SUCH A STUPID BUMBLING IDIOT. I just got back from a spontaneous dinner with my new "friend" C that I met dancing (last?) week. God I was SUCH AN IDIOT!!! I suddenly felt uncontrollably stupid and embarrassed and nervous and insecure. He must think i'm AN IIIIIIIIIDDDDDDIIIIIIOOOTTTT... I'm sure he'll never want to see me again. Tomorrow he leaves for Guam for a couple days. I will count the days but hope to never see him again because I feel like a TOTAL IDIOT!!! AAAAACCCCCkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk What was I ever thinking? Shit. Why would he be interested in me. I am fat and stupid and SOOOOOOOOO I N S E C U R E !!!!!!!! God I'm and idiot....... What a mistake. What a mistake... What a mistake....... What a STUPID MISTAKE..... I have just should stayed home in safety and not have pretended I can be something I'm not..... (ie:Interesting, or attractive or worth the time of someone's romantic interest.) SHit!