I decided to at least draft a letter before I left tonight to see how
it would feel. Now that I've done it, I'm seriously considering doing
it! Am i making a mistake?
How does it sound?...........
Dear Bossman,
I can't tell you how regretful I am to do this, most especially at
this very difficult time for you, but I can not continue working with
you under the circumstances that have existed in the office of late. I
had envisioned staying and helping as much as possible for as long as
possible, but I feel somewhat compelled now to leave.
Please let me explain – I know you're under a lot of pressure right
now and I truly empathize but yesterday when you became frustrated by
"not getting a real person" on the phone and threw it against the
wall, quite honestly, it frightened me.
On other occasions when you've slammed things onto your desk, or
suddenly yelled out when getting a busy signal or were upset, I've
found myself unable to stop shaking for long periods of time.
Am I being overly sensitive? Maybe. This is a hard time for you
and I don't blame you for having a hard time maintaining your cool
after due to tremendous cumulative stress and mounting frustrations.
It's likely that you're simply stretched beyond your ability to cope.
I understand. I don't mean to be inflexible or have unfair
expectations. People have bad days. You're having a bad stretch.
And like all things it will probably soon pass. So, if my leaving
appears petty, or ungrounded I do want to sincerely apologize to you.
But, nonetheless, the discomfort exists, and some time ago, I made a
commitment to myself to extract myself from negative environments
after having been enmeshed in them both personally and professional
far too long.
I'm sorry.
In addition, I should also tell you though, that I have found your
feedback to frequently more closely resemble ridicule than
constructive feedback. And although I believe it to be unintentional
on your part as I think you are a very nice person, (that I like!)
quite honestly, it's unacceptable. The frequent mocking tone has left
me feeling not only small and unappreciated as an employee but
disrespected as a person.
So although my leaving may come as a surprise to you, and may also
anger you, I do hope you'll understand. How can I generate enthusiasm
about coming to work if I'm anxious about potential unexpected
outbursts or being unfairly criticized? I do wish you all the best
as you finish up the work on your house, deal with strained personal
relationships, and difficult and demanding clients and hope that
things settle for you soon. You have a tremendous amount on your
plate – a lot for anyone to deal with!!!. I think everything will
work out for you soon though.
Best wishes to you,
Indigo
2 comments:
My constructive criticism (from a business standpoint): You are making excuses for him and justifying his behavior by "understanding his stress levels." Stress or not, his behaviors are unprofessional and you should not have to put up with it. You have a LOT of really good points in your letter that I think you should elaborate on. I offer you this: if you are serious about leaving and decide to do it via letter or email (which I would suggest), I extend the offer to help you with the letter, so that it sends a direct message without validating his pathetic behaviors, yet gets your point across in a professional yet FIRM way. I have a LOT of business experience, as well as personal experience with idgits like your boss, and I would be more than happy to help you out. The offer stands! :o)
ok. first, i'm going with the classic advice: get a new job before you quit the old one.
second, would you be in anyway counting on this guy for a recommendation along the way? would you trust him to? if not, who cares what he thinks about how you quit?
also, if it makes you feel better to be therapeutic for him through your method of quiting, then the letter is really really nice. but i wouldn't give it to him or say shit like this unless i was on my last foot out the door. or maybe even leaving it behind me. during the remainder of your stay, be it and hour, a week, or a year, i would encourage you to be more verbal. i have a feeling you have show this man no reaction at all. he thinks the world is about him and him being upset and him and his difficult life and oh poo, poor fucking him. we all have problems. he feels sorry for himself. he has anger management problems. i think you'd feel good about experimenting with confrontation. what do you have to lose? be indignant. be sarcastic. be funny about it. be assertive about your sensitive nature.
be yourself.
sidenote: i like your new job, cuz i get to read you more often!
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