Burning

I'm so
DELIGHTED
to not see The Bossman for the third straight day. Wednesday I took
off to help The Cutie with post wisdom tooth extraction comfortation,
Thursday he never showed up (YES), and today he just called and said
he's too busy at his home renovation/rebuilding project to show. YES!

Yessssss.

For Tuesday left a highly displeasurabe taste in my mouth. (Perhaps a
cross between canned sardines and goat terds.) I felt he was nasty,
condescending, and unfairly critical. True he's supposedly in a
nervous-wreck state due to financial strain, marital strife, and the
pressures of building his own home - and I want to extend as much
courtesty, and patience and over helpfulness as possible ....BUT......

I deserve to not be put down or treated poorly too.

Right?

Especially not for $240 and 15 hours of commuting a week.

Wednesday, I really wanted to use my new awareness and skills to speak
up for myself. To express my feeling about his condescention and
verbal attacks. I wanted to SO BAD! But, I couldn't because I was
too busy struggling not to crack and maintain composure. And even if
I was able to not get upset (Translation: cry), what exactly would
have I said?

WELL, I've been obsessing about exactly that for the past 3 days!
Trying to find the perfect words. Replaying the situation over and
over again in my head.

It makes me so MAD!

Who does he think he is? Who do all my past bosses think they were?
Why have so many men, over and over again feel entitled to belittle
and dismiss me? Is it me?

Is it me?

Is there something wrong with me?

AM I truly incapable?