i mean really bad. no joke. i really mean it. bad. like when i say bad, i mean like holy-god-whatthefuck kinda-bad - on that level. that's the real truth. not exaggerating.
at.
all.
i know it seems dramatic.
but.
its just the truth. and i really wouldn't lie to you, i swear. this shit is crazy, and it happened so fast. age 46. decaying. floppy. flippedlyflableflopflop - that's the sound my face makes when you see it. just like = when did that happen? how is it real? is that really truly MY face? why? i don't understand it.
i mean, its sounding very judgmental, but in truth its not. its a description really. its honest. its what i see in the mirror without interventions - makeup. attitute. clothes. reasonable hair. (i shaved half of it in a bizarre sudden unplanned impulse a few days ago. the last of my disguise - stripped bare.
now just an exposed sagging neck. thick neck. manly jaw (with tumor), thick brow, wide round cheeks and infamed blotchy skin. winkled leathery forehead and brow.
omg my fingers are so cold typing this. this place is incredible and awe inspiring. but holy shit, cold. these huge sweeping glorious windows overlooking the busy street - feel paper thin. definitely no built for living in. but no complaints. just stiff fingers, that's all.
anyway.
I'll be right back.
cool.
<3
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