I felt much less depressed today. Maybe its because I kept myself busy driving and shopping. Buying and returning. Driving and shopping. Buying and returning. Staying busy does help, I think, if for no other reason, it provides distraction. When there's an empty day, it makes me restless. Guilty. Ashamed. I start diving inside and feel a long dark inner hole. I start thinking about the futility of life and how nice it would be to believe in a god or fate or at least some sort of universal synronicity. Some order to things.
Trying to get the place a little spruced up so The Cutie won't have to return to a mess. Throwing out boxes, emptying the trash, vacuuming, laundry, changing the sheets. I love the shiny red vacuum I bought today - it picked up so much dirt it blew my mind - a blob about the size of a container of a gallon of milk. (I saved it to show The Cutie.) It's amazing how quickly dirt accumulates. I really need to do a thorough cleaning of the bathroom and kitchen floor. How do people keep up? And we're only in a studio. So much work for invisible results.
2 comments:
hi! how have you been. i'm on my way back.
you definately seem to be doing the depression dance. that's ok. it sucks when you realize it, but it's a sure sign you're trying to figure a way out.
you've come back to writing. i like that. i hope it helps you. and that other little journal thing you've mentioned...i'm sure that's good for you too.
you'll get there.
Thanks Seakitty. I'm glad you're back. I missed you!
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