Unexpectantly and without explanation, The Cutie angrily left me in Iraq admist the heart of unrest and disorder. I could not speak the language, was unable to count the money (with only a few American dollars on me), knew no one and had no where to go or way to protect myself.
Bombs began to rain down and I scrambled looking for protection from a similar fate to the bloodied corpses around me. For a short time I'd located a pocket of other English speaking people who drove a "bomb shelter" (a jeep with a roof) but this too was an inadequate Russion roulette as we held our collective breathes, grimly hoping that in the next instant, we would not be next. I became separated and apprehensivly entered a courtyard of turbened men, trying to dissapear. I was desparate, terrified, and furious at The Cutie. How could he betray me like this? How could he do this?
And it went on, and on - but no time now, I must get read for work...
4 comments:
Sounds like a stressful dream. Do you think this dream has any relation to your previous post?
I don't know. What do you think? I'm interested to hear your feedback. I have noticed a pattern of late (in my dreams) where he becomes myffed and abandons me or becomes indifferent to my presence. They're highly unpleasant and I wake feeling like doodoo.
I read your dream again, and then read the previous post. They seem tightly interwoven from my perspective. Could you be resisting being alone when you can clearly hear your thoughts (war zone in Iraq)?
What are your thoughts on this?
There is no quick route to peace, but it's something that has to happen with small steps.
I'm not sure. I think maybe it has something to do with my fear of abandonment, rejection. Maybe it was him going out into the world (without me) that stirred those feelings up whereas normally he is at home, alone and it is quite emotionally safe. When he gets well, I imagine it will be an adjustment for both of us in terms of our relationship dynamics.
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