A day of Peace

The phones are down which means no displaced angry accusations, no frustrated venters, no idiotic repetitious questioning, and no interruptions! 

 

Praise the Lord!   

 

As far as customer service, I always saw myself as gifted, until now, that is.  Things are getting to me.  Yesterday I almost had a meltdown after a call from HR informing me I'd be required to pay for Health Benefits for an entire month that I actually couldn't use them at all.  Didn't have an insurance card and couldn't make appointments.  Completely deflated and tired, I mumbled "Ok.  It doesn't matter.  I'm just tired of fighting."  The Director called me back immediately alarmed which made me start cracking up right in the middle of the room on the phone.  Kindness does that to me.  If only people could maintain a constant level of indifference towards me, it would be much easier to maintain composure.  But at that point I was so embarrassed that I couldn't formulate any decent sentences anyway and was thoroughly humiliated by my unintentional show of emotion.  I AM tired though.  I'm so so tired.  6 interviews and almost an entire year later I'm STILL being put on hold in regards to an actual position here.  ("The proposal needs to be signed by the VP and Pres)  Broken promises Broken Promises Broken Promises~ why is it so hard to simply honor what YOU'VE already proposed?  I mean, did I make this up?  No!   Last Tuesday when I finally received an official offer (after my SIXTH interview for the school -  the SECOND for the actual position I'm working in the same department with the same Bosslady. DUH!) , I quietly expressed disappointment as it didn't match what was formerly promised even in writing!  (I NEVER and i repeat NEVER would have returned had I not a guarantee, IN WRITING that I would not be screwed over again~ Burned once - Shame on you? Burned twice - shame on you? Burned thrice - SHAME ON ME!!!)   And $4 dollars less an houris allot in my life right now.  ALLOT)    The kindly looking old HR man looked downwards at his papers, and if I didn't know better, I might venture to was embarrassed for the organization.   At least I hope he was.  He needed to be.  Unscrupulous!  Unethical!  Simply wrong.   And this is a religious institution no less?   Bah!  You'd be a fool to not see this transparent incongruous empty "offer."   And this after returned AGAIN "to help" the extremely short-staffed, chaotic, over-stressed department in a desparte need AFTER the the thorough humiliaton of being kicked to the curb twice for position previously promised to me.  Again and again.    Anyway...

 

At least the CrazyBossLady is gone for the day along with her authoritarian 12 year old who's  "worked" with us each day for the past few weeks - issuing commands as translated from her manic overbearing mother.  The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree and we cringe as she approaches - stopping and staring intently inches away from our desks as she waits while we address student or faculty walk-ins.   In her 12 year old voice, she clumsily answers the phones and occasionally shouts  to Mommy for further directions.  It's so          embarrassing.             As if one of them isn't enough ~ now they've multiplied!   The Cutie threatens to call CPS and fulfill my secret evil dream.  HA!  But no, we suck it up and bear it.  Like so many other aspects of this nut-house office.  Day by day.  I keep my eyes on the paycheck and keep planning to job-search yet again.  When I have the strenght.  True its a paycheck, but still, I'm not totally dead yet.   Not yet.   I want more.  But I keep wondering what lessons I should take from this?  I'm 3 for 3 now for the jobs in New York.  Is there any meaning to that?  Is it a sign that it will be the same everywhere?  To live a life as an employee, will I be inevitably required to grin and bear impatience, unkindness,  arrogance,  dogmatic rigidity,  irrationality. 

 

I suspect I'm much to sensitive to survive in New York.

 

I think it's going to eat me alive.