Wanna Hear Something Weird?

My lower lip is numb (on one side.)  Why, you ask?  I have no idea!  It was like that when I woke up!  It feels funny.

I haven't even looked at want-ads in over 3 days.

At all.

I think i've just maxed out maybe... Its just so sickening... Exhausting..... And disheartening... I've been looking for soooo so long.

No Enemies

Toward the end of the service, the minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" About 80% held up their hands. The minister then repeated the question and all responded by raising their hands except onel small, elderly lady. "Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?", the minister asked. "I don't have any", she replied, smiling sweetly. "Mrs. Jones, that is indeed unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight" she replied. "Mrs. Jones, would you come down front and tell the congregation how a person can live for ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?" The little lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, smiled sweetly and said, "I outlived the sons of bitches!"

Compelling Reasons to "Just Say No"

Did anyone happen to catch Whitney Houston's sad performance at the Olympics? I wish I could find a clip for you to hear. Or maybe if I had a heart, I wouldn't further her shame. As Wendy Williams so eloquently put it the other day on the radio,

"Wow."

What a waste.

Feeling peaceful

Even though my head hurts, it doesn't matter because I'm simply glad to not be at work. Did I tell you I've begun noticing I have WHITE HAIRS? Maybe the unstable, stressed state of mind is beginning to catch up with me. Poo.

This morning I'm drinking coffee and constructing emails, files and invitations to maintain my yahoo group. I created it a few years ago but have been more and more active which has led to a current membership of 170 afficiandos and some lively recent discussions! Being a conduit of communication is highly satisfying. It may seem lame-o, but at least its something for this otherwise pretty mundane life of mine...

Also went back to WOW this week with The Cutie, which serves me surprisingly well by turning my attention from eating and malaise. Sure it may be an escape, but then, what isn't? At least it's not inherently destructive. And on the plus side, its interative, engages the imagination and involves thinking!!!

Wanna play too? We can be on the same team together!

We also watched a couple programs taped on TIVO: The Dog Whisperer and Family Guy - two of our favorite shows.

Me.

Are You the Invisible Employee?

By Jo Miller, Women's Leadership Coach

Nicole Moretti* had been an accounting manager for eight years. Nicole was consistently praised by her superiors for her expertise, work ethic and the high quality of her work. Nonetheless, these qualities were not enough to get this manager the respect she deserved.

In meetings, senior executives directed their questions to less experienced employees. She had heard more than once that she was considered to be more junior than the other managers at her level.  She realized she had a credibility problem. She felt that her colleagues and superiors did not take her seriously. In her own words, she was "invisible."

Moretti realized that although she was performing at the level of a senior manger, she was not projecting a solid presence as a seasoned, mature leader. To overcome this obstacle, Moretti set a goal of strengthening her reputation as a credible, authoritative manager and embarked on a step-by-step approach to reinventing herself and polishing up her image.

Enlist an Observer
First, she recruited the help of a trusted mentor and coach. In confidential meetings, the mentor observed Moretti's body language and communication style, and noticed certain patterns that undermined her authority. Moretti asked her mentor not to hold back and to give specific, forthright feedback.

Facets of Presence
Moretti and her coach determined what qualities defined a positive corporate presence:

·  Body language -- No matter how knowledgeable you are, if your posture doesn't reflect confidence, you will not command respect.

·  Vocal tone and pace -- Maintain an even tone of voice, with a low pitch and resist the temptation to speak faster when feeling flustered.

·  Grammar and language -- Be concise and economical with words. Using filler words like 'I mean', 'you know' and 'I think' will weaken your authority.

·  Professional attire -- Wear business suits and dresses that reflect your corporate style and good taste.

·  Appropriate use of laughter and humor -- Avoid the habit of giggling when nervous or uncomfortable. A person who constantly smiles and laughs unnecessarily is less likely to be trusted in serious situations.

Identify Habits That Undermine
During the following week, the coach observed Moretti and evaluated how she stacked up in each of these categories. Moretti was surprised to discover that she had fallen into some bad habits that made her look and sound far younger than her years.

Moretti realized that her stance was often too casual, and instead of confidence, she often conveyed nervousness. Under stress, Moretti's voice rose in pitch and she talked faster than usual, showing that she was flustered. Even when she knew what she was talking about, Moretti gave the impression that she was unsure of her facts. She would often giggle after making a statement, and she had a bad habit of saying she was sorry, even when she was not at fault. She wore outfits that were fashionable and cute, whereas her male associates dressed in the more conservative dress of corporate America. Through all these actions, she had trained people to see her as the junior team member. 

Reinvent Your Leadership Presence
Moretti challenged herself to make subtle changes. With the help of her coach, she learned how to correct her bad habits and to dress more appropriately. Within one month she was visibly emitting a more confident, mature presence and gaining the respect she deserved. Moretti succeeded in acquiring the behaviors that underscore her authority without giving up her natural style and persona. She learned to express herself as the accomplished businesswoman that she is.

Changing verbal and nonverbal habits is not always easy, but refining your leadership presence will win respect and credibility, and will fast-track your career.

*Not her real name.


Jo Miller is the Women's Leadership Coach. Visit www.jomiller.net to find out more about Jo's leadership coaching programs. Ask about a complimentary leadership coaching session!

 

(My BOSS, that is.)

I'm so

 

so

 

 

 

so

 

 

 

 

 

 

tired of it.

 

 

 

 

 

So

 

 

tired.

 

 

 

 

Job after job. 

 

 

The degradation.

The dehumanization.

Who am I to them?

Garbage, I imagine.  Not worth a second thought.

He Yelled at Me

For no reason.  But then does it matter?  What if it was for a reason?  Does that give someone the right to humilate you?  Treat you like nothing?  Like a meager nobody?  A serf? 

My Current Self Affirmation

I have to remember to say it to myself periodically throughout the day as I tend to torture myself with piercing doubt and fear and apprehension.

Don't worry
I don't need to do something more or different or faster or better.
I'm GOOD ENOUGH - they way I am.
And if by chance it happens that its not what he wants, i don't have to take that on and believe that I'm a lesser person because of it....

I just returned home from yet another stupid stupid stupid job interview.  I don't even know why I went.  Why did I go?  It was a referral from a employment agency that I accidently went to because I responded to ONE of their ads on Craigslist for an Executive Assistant position.  Honestly, I don't even know which ad it was since I've applied to so many by now.   I don't hear back from most and I don't give them a second thought.  I just keep sending sending sending looking looking looking.  And what am I looking for?  A stupid job I don't even want.  A job I think I can almost get but will pay twice as much as I was making working in social services.  A job that's brainless, boring, uninspiring, and highly invisible.  That's me.  The invisible worker.  Pay me and I will be your office slave!

We done did things!

First we went to a doggie meetup in the city! The Cutie drove like a maniac (in my opinion) and I almost puked from terror of his raging driving. But, fear not, we made it. We arrived and OOPS, it was French Bulldog day - not
day like we expected! But neverfear-no worries. We came back the next day and this time there were in face at least 20 other
with their humans!

Haha, look at what i just found on accident while surfing for doggie pics. Psychotically cool!! The Cutie said its going to give him nightmares... haha! Click the link! (You won't be sorry.)

On the way to the meetup, I saw something crazy in the corner of my eye. Some sort of wild flurry of sorts. WHAT IS THAT?! I excitedly exclaimed to The Cutie, but he was too busy swearing at and dodging crazy New York cab drivers who were swerving to and fro. There was a furious bobbing about and some sort of white confetti in the air above the heads of a crowd of people packed together that looked like this (but street level):






And can you guess what it was? The Cutie didn't believe me when I said it... I had to race home and look it up on the internet... And sure enough was right. Can you guess? Can you guess? Should I tell you now? Do you want to know? Ok I'll tell you..... It was a.....

PILLOWWWW FIGHTTTTTT!!!!!

Yes! That's right. A PILLLLLOW FIGHHHHT!!!!! HA!!!!






Yes, a real live bonified New York City pillowfight. See it here .






I so love New York City.


I mean, how cool is that?!




So..... we've been watching alot of Olympics, The Cutie and I. And is it just me, or is the ice skating Gerry Springerish this year? IE: the italian couple that tripped on top of each other at the end of their routine and then conducted a stare down in the middle of the ice in front of an international audience. Then, they waited for their scores and scowled, slouched and refused to make eye contact with eachother. And then, today, before starting their last routine, they STILL weren't looking or speaking to eachother! Now that they finished a moment ago, they were kissy faced buddies again, embracing and making nice. Huh?!

Anyway, all of this ice skating business got The Cutie and I plotting... HOW ABOUT GOING ICE SKATING? It sounded fun and we agreed to going for it, but to be honest, with The Cutie's back, and fatigue, and pain, I didn't really think it would happen. BUT GUESS WHAT!

WE WENT ICE SKATING!!

Perhaps not a big deal to most, but a blood-tingling mind-blowing hair-raising rip-roaring like-WOW MIRACLE for us. And I was SO scared. Sooooooo scared. The last (and only) time I've been skating was when I was about 10 years old. I thought for sure I was going to kill myself. I thought for sure I would be utterly unable to stand up on the ice. I thought for sure I was going to continuously fall leading to broken bones and painful paralyzation. The Cutie on the other hand, I found out, is an avid skater having been on an ice hockey team as a youngster, and he patiently held my hand, guiding me around and around the rink, dodging tiny tot landlmines thickly scattered every few yards. (And we thought we were so smart going on a Monday to avoid the crowd! Didn't think about it being a holiday and all.) But it was so fun anyway. I've been thinking about it ever since and can't wait to do it again!

Things That Annoy Me

Kirstie Alley's diet commercials.



To be continued.

Okay Z, so now what does it mean?

What is your learning style?

Funky Food Things Of Late

Sneaking.
Compulsive trips to Starbucks for drinks I barely want.
Buying, nibbling, then tossing after deciding I didn't even realy want the impulsive purchase anyway.
Great excitement for a moment alone to eat in peace.  Unobstruced- Unjudged
Looking forward to eating as respite.  Happy breaks from frustrating, unhappy, stressful days.
A reward
A "treat"
A way to feel good
A diversion from.....all
Waiting and plotting and looking forward to the next enounter

Blizzard!

The puppy nipped out a few of her stitches which caused me to brave yesterday's storm to purchase her emergency first aid supplies, (and diet coke for The Cutie.) But first, a little digging was required to access the vehicle. Check this out!


(This is a car.)

(From the back)


View from the front, looking over the hood



Side view - (from a front angle)


And dammit, I have a cold! It really messes up my bragging rights. I love being able to gloat how I haven't been sick in 6 years. Now I've got nothin. 101.6 temp on Friday left me a bit light headed and sniffly. No fever now but a scratchy throat. Being sick brings back childhood memories of staying home from school drinking "pop" and watching daytime tv on the couch. I always felt so nurtured by my Mom when I was sick. She'd buy me coloring books and crayons. Popsicles. Even gave me a little bell if I had a sore throat and couldn't call her!! It's no wonder people become hypochnodriacs with such loving treatment and attention.

Did you get snow too?

26 inches over here by some estimates. Wow! I must say, I do love snow, it doesn't bother me at all! I think I'll miss it if we move to the dessert in a couple years as The Cutie desires.
He had his second back decompression last week. So far, no positive results, although they say it can take up to two months before the effects take hold. We're cautiously hopeful I guess you could say. Though honestly, not very optimistic. If it doesn't work, the next step will be real, bonified surgery. A dangerous, difficult step we've been hoping to avoid.

Are you watching the Olympics?

We've caught some iceskating, speed skating, women's ice hockey (sweet!), and the ::cough cough:: embarrassing opening ceremonies. I tried to maintain a positive outlook about that too but come on, plastic life sized cows? And waltzing milkmaids? For the OLYMPICS??! Not exactly grand, and inspirational. (Though funny!)

So I've been avoiding posting lately because I've been so MAD and frustrated lately. Mostly about the job situation. It just seems like I'll never get a break! The latest frustation is with the new job at the college. Once again I had the rug pulled out from underneath me after it turns out 1) it will pay much less than I was led to believe and 2) they still have to publically "post" the position which means 3) its back to the drawing board, ONCE AGAIN as the job is not officially mine as I was also led to believe. At no point was it suggested that the job was not offically mine - I was put on payroll, given a staff ID card, staff parking sticker, and even added as the Asst to the Pres in the college directory!!! It was already a sacrifice to work only part-time during this "transitional" 5 month phase and now after all this time to find out it may have been for nothing anyway - well - its just SO FRUSTRATING!

Will I ever get a job?!

(And I'm not even talking about a good one.) Just A job.

I really want to have more than 83 cents in the bank!

Aye Carumba!

Feeling Restless

Again.  I don't want to go to bed.  Why?  For no reason.  Because something is missing.  I need "to do" things instead.

Exercise me

Since getting the puppy, I see the world through new canine filtered lenses.
For example, I just realized that I think I'm like a working dog.  I need a job
to do.  Otherwise I get out-of-shape and bored.  Like a working dog I crave
discipline and the enjoyment of achieving a physical task.

Sound Pollution

attacks me!   Constantly!  I need quiet time, to reflect.  On and on the television blares: obtrusively erupting into my head.  My biggest barrier to blogging, I think.