Yesterday The Cutie told me officially that he never wants to get married. Although he says it's simply a matter of his disinterest in the institution, I still found it difficult to hear it as something other than a statement of personal rejection. Am I not good enough for him? Not compelling enough? Don't get me wrong, I've known all along that we both have our fears and apprehension, but the finality of his announcement still came as a sobering surprise. Especially since I've been on high alert for a secret surprise engagement ring since we met. Afterall, the day before I moved to New York we even browsed the internet together shopping for rings! Bottom line is, unless he magically changes his mind, I will likely never be a bride or have children. A weighty, solemn realization that made me cry.