Feeling great in this moment. Made progress on my goal to develop my social networks, and human, real life connections. Spoke to friend in Florida tonight. Eureka!
Had dinner with past professor collegues mid-week. Woo-hoo! I was so scared and nervous, I kinda tried to cancel via an awkwardly honest text - "Not in a great place. embarassed. dont want to make things awkward...." (I believe in radical honesty?).... She returned my text with an endearing scolding, "DON'T YOU DARE NOT COME! YOU ARE COMING. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ELSE. I WILL SEE YOU AT 6 AND THERE WILL BE NO ARGUMENT." ....(something to that effect)....
While I waited for them in the lobby I choked up for a moment.. happy/excited/nervous/sad...So weird. But I enjoyed every minute of being with them. I miss them. I love them! They felt like family. And they are like my loving Aunts and Uncles (all older). I left the restaurant and walked home feeling PUMPED. And
HAPPY. Thinking about how I might be able to find a way to see them more? Talk to her about my business idea? Ask him for his advice? I realized I had felt normal for a moment. I was reminded that I used to be so functional, and on-point, and awesome. I saw myself with different eyes and it lifted my spirits. I am capable? That's right!
Took my buddy's Mother to a few doctor appointments during the week and then "hung out" walking around malls and going to eat. She's fun, and creative, and free spirited and a just a little bit crazy. I like that. It inspires me. Her presence reassured me that it's ok to be different. She's confident Artistic. And fabulous. And little bit wild. She's beautiful and it reminds me to take care of myself and not give up. She's hasn't been able to work for 6 months due to injuries and we exchange stories of the inappropriate things people say to us about it, and how people seem to either disappear or act weird in times of financial need.
And tonight I've been listening to entrepreneurial podcasts and am back to plotting my business ideas.
Thank god.
I have to pursue this and do it.
I can't give up!
There's no reason why I can't do it?
The key, I'm convinced, is persistence.
Even bought a calendar, to help me not forget.
Had dinner with past professor collegues mid-week. Woo-hoo! I was so scared and nervous, I kinda tried to cancel via an awkwardly honest text - "Not in a great place. embarassed. dont want to make things awkward...." (I believe in radical honesty?).... She returned my text with an endearing scolding, "DON'T YOU DARE NOT COME! YOU ARE COMING. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ELSE. I WILL SEE YOU AT 6 AND THERE WILL BE NO ARGUMENT." ....(something to that effect)....
While I waited for them in the lobby I choked up for a moment.. happy/excited/nervous/sad...So weird. But I enjoyed every minute of being with them. I miss them. I love them! They felt like family. And they are like my loving Aunts and Uncles (all older). I left the restaurant and walked home feeling PUMPED. And
HAPPY. Thinking about how I might be able to find a way to see them more? Talk to her about my business idea? Ask him for his advice? I realized I had felt normal for a moment. I was reminded that I used to be so functional, and on-point, and awesome. I saw myself with different eyes and it lifted my spirits. I am capable? That's right!
Took my buddy's Mother to a few doctor appointments during the week and then "hung out" walking around malls and going to eat. She's fun, and creative, and free spirited and a just a little bit crazy. I like that. It inspires me. Her presence reassured me that it's ok to be different. She's confident Artistic. And fabulous. And little bit wild. She's beautiful and it reminds me to take care of myself and not give up. She's hasn't been able to work for 6 months due to injuries and we exchange stories of the inappropriate things people say to us about it, and how people seem to either disappear or act weird in times of financial need.
And tonight I've been listening to entrepreneurial podcasts and am back to plotting my business ideas.
Thank god.
I have to pursue this and do it.
I can't give up!
There's no reason why I can't do it?
The key, I'm convinced, is persistence.
Even bought a calendar, to help me not forget.
No comments:
Post a Comment