my hair is a dirty mess & i don't care

i can't breathe. is something clogging my nose? is it the layers and layers of fat around my lungs and organs? i feel unmotivated to move, do things, study, exist. the cutie is sleeping although its the middle of the day. i just realized today that he is the only one in my life that i talk to but we in reality don't really have much to talk about. or so it seems. do i feel lonely? work and here. work and here. am i friendless? essentially i guess. maybe this is part of why i feel so down. am i bored? what can i do to enliven our days. maybe this is why i've gained so much weight. food is the highlight of my days. one of the few aspects to enjoy. how lame is that. i've been taking the cutie's extra antidepressants and i think that they did help. maybe now i need a stronger dose? i think exercising would help too, but doing what and where? i feel uncomfortable walking around this neighborhood. our studio is too tiny for equipment. gyms bother me. so what else? i haven't come up with anything although the need is becoming dire.