It's not that bad.

Really.

 

I'm ok. 

 

I'm usually happy.

 

The work situation has been unreal though.  The past months frustrations are too big to want to retell.

 

I'm so happy to get your comments! 

 

I can't believe you're stickin around!

 

Now THAT makes me happy.

 

 

=)

Where to start?

I've been swept away - haven't read or blogged in countless weeks.  Absorbed in ~no not absorbed~ lost in ~ work then rushing home to escape it though my fantasy WOW world until finally falling into unconscious sleep.  Rewind. Begin again.  Day after day.  Just trying to get by.  Survive.  Flourishing is not even on the radar.   One day at a time.  Mindless and numb.  Trying my best to contain the rage.

I think I'm a sellout

And/or have no self-respect.  Obviously.  Otherwise why would I accept this treatment?  Because I "need" a job.  Even if it's barely a job.  A sympathy job, as it is.  Not good enough to be officially hired but not bad enough to be fired.  So instead hired and dehired hired and dehired and all-the-time hanging on by a thread.  Scrutinzed and judged.  Dancing and prancing and putting on a show.  Trying to be liked enough to stay.  Valued.  When will it end?  8 months and still in limbo.